Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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