I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
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Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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