Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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