There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
