for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
