i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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