big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
