It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
