hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
