wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
