Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
