It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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