We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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