He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
