great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
