Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
