how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
