The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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