i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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