How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
