can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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