heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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