i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
