you would pick up someone in the library
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
