This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
