How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize