Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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