Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
