Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
