used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
