I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
