i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
