i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
