Sober January is a disaster.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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