think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
