Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
