Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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