Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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