I cockslap morals
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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