also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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