strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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