My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
