I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
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He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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