He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
