you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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