yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize