if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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