Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
