I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
