A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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