im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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