I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i now understand why vodka
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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