he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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