Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
