I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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