and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
