I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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