My room smells like vodka and shame
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We are all done wearing pants today
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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