Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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