Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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